|Posted by Angie Merriam on December 31, 2012 at 12:20 PM||comments (0)|
Well, another year has come and gone. Thankfully the world didn't explode,gravity didn't reverse, aliens didn't attack and 12/21/12 passed by as though it had no idea "it" was the day to end all mankind. We saw superstorm Sandy hammer the East Coast and watched as, once again, Americans came together to lend a hand (or a dollar) to the victims of the storm. We felt the heartache of the senseless crimes that claimed so many lives this past year, stealing away our feeling of safety and security. We mourned together and hugged our children a little tighter before the shootings became political. Americans re-elected Obama......I don't have much to say on that. Let's just say he didn't have my vote and I feel that the future of my country is in danger. I can only hope, pray, wish and want really hard for Americans to band together in ways that only tragedies seems to unite us because the day is coming when we are going to need our neighbors, our fellow Americans.
In 2012 I discovered Sons of Anarchy and decided that if I was just alittle tougher I could totally be a biker. I was also introduced to The Walking Dead and realized I would do a lot of things differently should the Zombies attack. I find myself saying "really" or "come on" or "what, is she stupid?" when I watch that show which is why I like it...the emotion! The final Breaking Dawn was released and the final "Twilight girls night" was had...Bittersweet to say the least but the movie was amazing and yes I have seen it more than once! Phillip Phillips may become my new favorite artist of the moment (never surpassing Bon Jovi, that's impossible) and Pink's album, The Truth About Love seriously kicks ass! Bluegrass/Hipster music is showing its face and becoming quite popular, hence my son wanting (and getting) a Mandolin for Christmas! I for one love it and am excited to see what comes from the genre in the New Year. Despite my declaration of love for Pink and Phillip Phillips, there is not alot of radio music that I really like these days. Bluegrass may just be the breath of fresh air that music needs...we really don't need more songs about Diamonds and Starships, do we?
I am most excited to see what 2013 brings to the world of books. I have been very lucky in this last year to have been able to meet and get to know some really amazing writers. I had some really talented people submit their stories to me for Intertwine, which I think turned out to be a really wonderful anthology. It took me a while to get the book together but the end product was awesome and I am so thankful to all the contributors that helped make this book what it is, amazing. I discovered books by Indie authors that were really good. These writers have been added to my list of favorites and I look forward to more of their work. I cyber-met a fan of mine which really is the coolest thing ever! A great lady who also wants to write and has been gracious enough to let me read her work...it's really good and I believe she is going to be one to watch! I finished the last Neveah book, Breaking the Wicked. It's looking at a 01/25/2013 release. The end is bittersweet for me. I am not sure I can totally give up the characters yet....However I have begun writing a new book so I will see where that takes me!
I feel lucky to have made new friends in the last year and to have grown closer to old ones. I have learned to let go of the things that bother me and understand that life is what I make of it. I have tried and failed to quit smoking and really hope I find strength in myself to give it up for good in the year to come. I have hundreds of reasons to quit and no reason to continue so it's up to me and my ability to have some self-control. I have also tried and semi-succeeded in weight loss but I have a long way to go in feeling healthy and vibrant again. I watched my oldest boy fall in love and make mistakes. His teenage years are ones that have really taught me about forgiveness and acceptance in things that I can't change. I learned that things are not what I want them to be for him, they are what he makes of them. I can only hope that I have instilled values in him that he will carry into his own life. I spent too much time worrying about others in the last year and have only recently decided that they are not mine to worry about. I am letting go which is necessary to my own happiness and that of my family. I have re-newed faith and trust in my marriage and believe in us again. So, in ending, 2012 was not awesome but it was not horrible either. It has been a learning experience and I hope I can take my new lessons into 2013, in turn making life happy.
To end on a fun note, this may be completely immature and high schoolish, but it's fun...so here ya go!
Top 5 Movies of 2012 (While making this list I realized there are alot of movies I have yet to see, so this list could change)
1. Breaking Dawn Part 2
2. The Hunger Games
3. Dark Shadows
4. Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World
5. Mirror Mirror
(Movies I need to see that may change the list: The Vow, The Hobbit,Atlas Shrugged, The Paperboy, 21 Jumpstreet, Cosmopolis, Savages, The LuckyOne, and Snow White and the Huntsman)
Top 5 TV Shows
1. Sons of Anarchy
2. Duck Dynasty
3. The Walking Dead
4. American Idol
5. Good Luck Charlie (yes I watch too much Disney, I have a nine yearold, and this show is funny)
Top 5 TV personalities (fictional or real)
1. Jax Teller (Charlie Hunnam) SOA
2. Any of the Robertsons..they make me happy, happy, happy lol...DuckDynasty
3. Gemma Morrow Teller (Katy Segal) (I love to hate her)..SOA
4. Maggie Green (Lauren Cohan)...the walking dead
5. Carol and Daryl on the walking dead (tied)
Top 5 Songs
1. I remember: 5 Finger Death Punch
2. Remind Me: Brad Paisley and Carried Underwood
3. Til my last day: Justin Moore
4. Home: Phillip Phillips
5. Just give me a reason: Pink
Top 5 books (possible released before 2012, but not read by me until this year )
1. Wander Dust: Michelle Warren
2. Fangs for Nothing: Adrienne Ambrose
3. Fifty Shades of Grey series: E.L. James
4. My Blood Approves: Amanda Hockings
5. Outlander: Diana Gabaldon (an oldie but my favorite. I read it overand over lol)
Top 5 authors I am excited to read in 2013 (In no particular order)
1. Beth Gaulda
2. Brian Shirley
3. Michelle Warren
4. Melissa Foster
5. Collen Houck
There you have it! A little glimpse into what makes me tick! Happy NewYear everyone! May 2013 be full of wonderful days!
|Posted by Angie Merriam on September 5, 2012 at 4:15 PM||comments (0)|
It seems that the past year has been less than stellar. Nothing traumatic, like a death in the family, but a series of shitty circumstances keep creeping up and stressing me out! The constant ups and downs have kept me from going home for quit a while. It was also those ups and downs that sent me home recently.
I called the little town of Klamath Falls my home until I was 21 years old. I was born and raised there and hated it with my entire soul! The brown landscape that was void of trees made the Klamath Basin revolting, at least I thought so as a kid.
Beyond the unsightly landscape, there was nothing to do in that po-dunk town. No nearby cities. No real malls for shopping. I yearned to experience city life.....concerts, theater, bright lights and a big city! I didn't care for hunting, fishing, camping, and 4H. I swore I would never raise my kids in that place. I was convinced a town like that left kids with nothing to do but get drunk and/or high. There was nothing else to keep kids busy. So, when the chance presented itself, I bolted out of the town that had been my home my entire life. I made my way to the city!
Over the years, as I have aged, I have slowly moved further away from that city that I craved as a teenager. I rarely go into the city and don't recall ever going to the "theater". Life near the city, I have learned, is faster than life in a small town. Everyone is in a hurry to do everything. Life rushes by you in the city. That life I yearned for, ran to, have loved and lived for the past 13 years has worn me down. For the first time ever, I wanted to go home.
This time I saw those brown mountains that surround my home town as beautiful, not repulsive. Granted, trees were in limited supply, and the ground was not covered in green, but the land was beautiful in its own way. I drove through town showing my children all the places I had lived, where I had gone to school, my bedroom that still displayed my peace, love and happiness drawings on the wall, and where their father and I lived when they were born.
I spent time with family and friends. I visited loved ones who have passed on. I remembered all the things, good and bad, about my life in that town. I re-discovered the town that had pushed me out so long ago. I felt that town welcome me back with open arms. I had a sense of peace while there. For the first time in a long time I was able to relax because I was home. Do I want to "live" there? No, though I am happy to know that home is still there and still feels like home to me. Sometimes, when life gets tough, you just need to go home, regardless of your age. Nothing feels as good as being welcomed home.
|Posted by Angie Merriam on April 18, 2012 at 1:35 PM||comments (0)|
If anyone can answer me these questions I would be grateful..or even just explain how things have gone so wrong!
1. Why is it so difficult for a white, middle class, young person to get an education? Credit checks for government financial aid?Really? No money for the middle class but a minority can almost always get grants or sholarships that pay most if not all their tuition. I am not racist, at least I try not to be but why can the Mexican or Black or Asian kid in my childrens school go to college for free while my child gets no help?
2. What the hell is going on with our health care system? Medical expenses are crippling middle America while new laws and bills are fixing to put private practice docs out of business. Welcome to government run health care! Say goodbye to being able to spend more than your alloted 15 mins with your doc and hello to being heared in and out of Kaiser like facilities where you are nothing more than a number! Got more than one complaint? Too bad, make another appoinment!
3. Where have all the good teachers gone and what is going on in our schools? Now, just to clarify, there are some good teachers out there and my children have been lucky to have them but there are some really bad ones too! Kids are being taught their teachers political views but if a student expressed theirs they will be sent home for being offensive?? No child left behind is a joke! Yeah they are not being left behind but are being pushed through without a proper education. Graduated to higher grades without full understanding of the grade they are leaving behind. Don't want to hurt their feelings or make them feel bad about themselves but we are hurting them by not giving them the proper education they deserve and that includes humility. Kids need not only learn from a text book but how to handle social situations, peer pressure, failure, consequence. We are hurting our children! Home school is looking better every day!
4. Medical Marijauna!!!Yes I said it! I am for it and for all that is good in the world can not fathom as to why it is still illegal! Anyone who is against it is not educated in the good it could do for many sick people. Alcohol and Cigarettes are legal and they KILL people every day. Opiate drugs are prescribed at alarming rates, getting unsuspecting people hooked on a drug that WILL eventually kill them if the habit is not broken! WHY is this OK? Vicodin, Morphine, Methadone, Xanax are all being abused by the general public, adults and teens, and it is deemed acceptable because they are prescribed by a Dr. Marijuana has been proven to help with nausea, pain, Parkinsons, Autism, MS, and a slew of other medical conditions while not one overdose case has been reported, nor is it habit forming like the other mentioned drugs no yet we keep giving folks poison that is killing them slowly. Please people, do your research. Talk to medical users. Talk to doctors that are for medicinal use. Talk to growers. Don't believe the garbage fed to you by the media and or the government. The problem is not what it does to the consumer as they try to lead you to believe, rather what it will do to pharmaceutical companies and other entities that feel it will be a threat. We need responible thinking. We need to do what is best in the interest of the people not the powers that be!
There you have it...let the comments go
|Posted by Angie Merriam on December 15, 2011 at 7:05 AM||comments (0)|
As a child I always longed for a sibling. I wished for a big family full of children my age. My two step sisters never lived with me and I always felt I was a little on the outside of their lives. I have two 1st cousins and grew up very close to one of them, but I still longed for that feeling of a big happy family. Then I met my husband.
I was immediately drawn to his family including his three siblings. He is the oldest of four children and I always thought he was so lucky to have such a large family. I watched, many times, bouts of sibling rivalry, wondering why they chose to fight eachother, didn't they know how lucky they were? As the years passed by I learned that brothers and sisters fight, then they make up. They forgive, they love, and they hate all at the same time and all without realizing it. This way of bonding became extremely apparent when I had my children and watched as they formed their own bonds.
Watching my husband and his siblings through the years helped me to understand my own children and their rivalry with each other and the near constant love hate relationship they have created. Who would have known you could love someone with all your heart, unconditionaly, forever and ever, then turn around and hate them? The capacity of forgiveness with siblings is nothing less than amazing.
I adopted my husbands siblings as my own, and gave them no choice in the matter. I wanted brothers and sisters and I loved them, and still love them, with my entire heart. They are the siblings I always wanted but never had. I have watched every one of them grow into adults, get married, have babies, while I watched them proud as punch. They have been a gift in my life and I thank God and their mother that I have been able to share part of their lives with them. That's what makes it so hard to let go of them.
I have learned of rivalry, bonds, love, hatred, grudges, admiration, and loyalty from my self adopted siblings. I have also learned that they are not mine to keep. I have learned that dissapointment that comes from someone you love so deeply stings the worse. I also now know that you are the hardest on the people you love and judge them the harshest. I think most of that comes from wanting to see them be successful, happy, healthy, but it also stems from not wanting to let go of someone. I am now very aware that it doesn't matter how much you love or how much you fight, people will always go their own way. They will chose their own path. They will do what makes them happy because that is human nature. This however does not change the family bonds, it just means they are creating their own family unit. They are never really gone, just not always there. I hope against hope that these life lessons of letting go of the ones you love helps me deal with my own children as they grown and find their own way in life. A life that will not always involve me but we are always a family and this family always makes their way back to one another.
|Posted by Angie Merriam on August 15, 2011 at 11:40 AM||comments (0)|
I was riding in the car with my son and his friend, both 15, when his friend asked me "Why do girls dress so skimpy?" My response may have been a little harsh but I am honest with them. "You mean like little hoochies?" I asked and my son giggled while his friend shook his head yes. I thought for a second before telling them that young girls think that is what boys like and they want boys to like them. After all the role models young girls look to are scantily clad at best and promote sexiness. They both thought about it and responded with "Well we do like to look, but we wouldn't want that kind of girl as a girlfriend." Since then my son has told me many stories about girls he knows and the things they do. I am almost always appalled at the things children are doing these days.
Everything seems to be starting earlier. Kids are experimenting with drugs, alchohol, sex and a variety of other things at much younger ages. Having three children this worries me. I am a young mother and consider myself to be savy to teenagers and their young minds. I use that to my advantage when it comes to keeping the lines of communication open with my kids. I can't believe how many parents, young or old, do not communicate with their kids. These kids are our futures and must be guided to make good choices. More and more teenagers run wild with no rules or consequences. When these kids make life changing mistakes (think unprotected sex, using drugs, getting drunk, ect) parents are turning them away. How does this make sense? I have seen this first hand in my communtiy and it sickens me. Does the parent bare no responisibity? In the eyes of the law we do, why not in the safety and health of our children?
Times are faster now with the evolution of technology and children are finding courage behind a keyboard. They are saying things via the internet or via text message they would never say in person. They are being assaulted with images of scantily clad woman, trashy tv and music, and the media exploits things that should be marketed towards adults. My boys were nearly teenagers before they were able to watch a horror movie or a movie with sex or crued language. They were teased a little and eventually I relented and let them have more freedom. But I think, I hope, that my shielding their innocent minds, even if only for a little while, will help them make better decisions.
Don't get me wrong, my kids are not perfect, by far. They have had trouble of their own but we have faced it as a family. We TALK to our children, we make them talk to us, we know what is going on in their lives. That is how it should be, right? Parents should know what is going on in their child's life. We should talk candidly with our teenagers. We can not give up on our children when they make mistakes. We have to teach them, guide them, and pick them up when they fall. Yes, teenage years are turning my hair gray and causing a wrinkle or two, but who said raising kids was easy? We have to continue raising our kids. 14, 15, 16, or even 17! They are not adults and still need us even if they can't admit it.
|Posted by Angie Merriam on August 10, 2011 at 8:15 AM||comments (0)|
So, I can't even begin to make excuses for my lack of posting, but I will do it anyway.
July flew past me like a demon and it seems a million things came crashing down all at once! HUGE staffing changes occured at my day job, which translates into 100% better work enviroment and 110% more work. I don't mind the extra work, it has just sucked up most of my time. There is a light at the end of the tunnel though, and this journey will be well worth it once we reach that light.
Beyond work, my son's had another kid shoot them with high powered air soft guns(the kind that leaves a mark)...That is a future court date.....My wonderful, loving, idiot son made stupid choices and got himself grounded for two weeks(though I have to say I enjoyed having him home and when his sentence was served he admitted being home with his family was not all that bad....maturity is occuring folks)....My dryer broke at the worse time, with my work clothes in them! What's a girl to do? Drape them over the back seat of the car to dry on the drive to work(NO I did not drive to work naked)...on the flip side of the downers.....My brother in law got married! It was a truly wonderful ceremony and reception.(I only cried once) My daughter and neice were the flower girls...they were princesses and the bride was a beautiful princess as well. Family came from out of state for the wedding and I must say I enjoyed their time here immensely....We sold all our sand toys and bought a boat which is seriously great fun!!!! We have a river a few miles from home. I t hink boating and river swimming is the most relaxing, funnest thing I have done in a very long time!
Alas it now almost mid-august and a whole new set of 'things' to do is beginning....football, school, shopping, ect....This has been a very eventful summer and we didn't even leave home;)
PS: Smoking????Sadly yes. There is no way to deny it or get around the fact. I failed horribly in my quest to quit! That just means I get to start the quest again because I will quit...even if it takes a life time!
|Posted by Angie Merriam on July 3, 2011 at 11:55 PM||comments (0)|
It is no secret I am getting older. I have embraced aging for the most part, and like the thought that being older makes you wiser. I am getting a few wrinkles around my eyes and every now and then a grey hair pops up. I am OK with this. It's the rate that my kids are growing that is bothering me.
The final Harry Potter is coming out and I remember taking my boys to the first one when they were so little. Now they are both teeneagers and I think only agree to see the movie because I insist we see them all in the theater, it's tradition.
Toy Story Three-My oldest son's favorite movie as a toddler. Now he is 15 and it seems the movie has aged with him. I told my husband "look Andy is growing up, like Paeris," with a tear in my eye. He just shook his head at me though I know he felt a little tug at his heart.
Time goes on, things change, children grow, people age! I just wish my kids could stay little just a tiny bit longer. They are so eager to enter the world on their own. If they only knew what they will be entering. There are so many things that worry me and I pray I have taught them well enough that they will make it in this complicated world. I sound like my parents, but I wish things were as simple as they were when I was a child.
|Posted by Angie Merriam on April 24, 2011 at 1:17 PM||comments (0)|
Wow, I must say the last few weeks has been a whirlwind! Two weeks ago my husband and I left the Northwest bound for Las Vegas with his adult siblings in tow. A very dear family member had fallen rather ill and we thought we were going to say goodbye. Well, by the grace of God, and shear will to live she pulled through! I can truly say, after that experience, I believe in miracles.
Now, here we are, Easter Sunday! For the first time in along time I can say I believe in a higher power and the power of faith. Regardless of what God you pray too, or where your faith lies, great things can happen when you believe!
I know this is not "Thanksgiving" but I think being thankful for the ultimate sacrifice is part of the celebration of Easter. Why not count our own blessings today? OK, I will start....
My marriage is a healthy, happy one, and I feel lucky to be married to my best friend.
My children are growing up healthy and happy, (save the occasional teenage hiccup)they are wonderful kids.
My mother is still with us this Easter(enough said)
Our wonderful family member is still fighting for her life and doing a damn good job of it!
My book sales increased by at least 100% this past week and I can't say enough thanks to those readers!
This weekend has been wonderful, great progress made on Standing Broken, Easter shopping, Water For Elephants with friends, the sun was shinning, and Easter day with my family!!!! What more can I ask for! Happy Easter! May everyone be blessed with happiness!